Cease! Desist!
by wowsugarpuss
Summary: Pre-series. Logan and Veronica engage in a merry war of wits.


"Boy, you _do_ work fast. Sure glad I wasn't the one caught with my pants down." Logan glances knowingly at the selection of pregnancy tests in Veronica's hands.

She glares, keeping her voice tightly controlled, "Don't worry, Logan, the image of you without pants has just killed my libido for at least the next three to five years."

"Man, the soccer team will be _pissed_."

"Don't you have somewhere to be?"

"Nothing more important than warning the world of a possible invasion from Mars."

"Haha. If you pull out an 'earth to mars' right now you'd officially be the most original person ever."

"I'll keep away from the classics thanks, good to keep people guessing."

Veronica tries to intensify her glare, willing Logan to leave.

He nods to the tests. "So who's responsible for this little purchase, or do you have a list to narrow down?"

"Screw you."

"No thanks, don't know where you've been."

"_Why_ are you here again?"

Logan shakes a packet of painkillers in her face.

"Got some drinks to spike this weekend?" she asks, attempting to keep the edge off her voice.

"Sorry you won't be there?"

"You're an ass Logan. Choke on them."

"Woah. Just because you forgot to use a condom."

"Yeah well the line was so long it would've been expensive and what with my financial situation being as it is." She shrugs. "Is that what you want to hear?"

"Man, I guess _whoever_ didn't manage to get that stick out of your ass while they were down there."

* * *

"Hey, Veronica, on the house." Logan throws a packet of condoms at her across the courtyard as Veronica heads to the front of Neptune High. "Call it a public service; we really don't need you breeding."

"Hey, Logan." She throws them back. "If I were you I'd keep them. Your girlfriend gets an awful lot of tennis lessons for someone who's still failing gym. Weird, huh? Hope her tennis coach doesn't have VD."

Dick is first to pipe up. "Dude, are you gonna let her speak to you like that?"

* * *

"You bitch!" Logan blocks the way to Veronica's car.

She smiles sweetly in response. "Forget your Ritalin this morning?"

"I want my tires back."

"And I want to get in to Harvard, what else you got?"

"I know you took them, I'll get you back for this. I will!"

"Have fun on the bus."

"Stupid bitch."

Dick tries to get Logan's attention back. "Come on, man. Get your shit in my car, we gotta go."

* * *

Logan slumps down in the seat next to Dick. "Meet me after fifth period tomorrow."

"But man, I've got bio sixth," Dick whines.

Logan shrugs. "So skip it. You don't wanna have some fun?"

"Sure. What we gonna do this time?"

"I figure she doesn't really _need_ that steering wheel."

Dick grins in glee. "Dude, that's whack! I love it."

"After fifth, right?"

"Sure, man. Definitely. Got to teach that bitch a lesson."

* * *

"_Where_ is my steering wheel?" Veronica demands, hands firmly on hips.

Logan smirks coolly. "I have no idea what you're implying."

"Don't make me call the Sheriff."

"Cause I bet they just love you down there."

"It's against the law."

He shrugs. "Yeah, so's taking my tires."

"I will _ruin_ your life."

"Not much left to ruin, but take your best shot." He turns to leave, pausing to add, "Have fun on the bus!"

* * *

Keith drops his coat on the back of a chair, approaching Veronica in their kitchen. "Honey, would it be too much for me to ask where your steering wheel is?"

"If I promise you that it'll be back by the time I get home from school tomorrow could we just forget about it?"

"Veronica, are you having problems at school?"

Veronica doesn't answer, swallowing thickly.

"I know this is a difficult time with me losing my job but you can always talk to me."

"No dad, it's just—it's nothing, really. I'm fine."

"I know you're lying but I'm going to let it drop because there's lasagna to be eaten."

She gives him a strained smile. "It's good to know I can always buy my own way with Italian food."

* * *

"Would you quit it?" Duncan throws himself down next to Logan.

"Quit what, man?" Logan looks up from his lunch.

"Harassing Veronica. She doesn't deserve it."

"Still harboring fuzzy feelings for the ex? She's trash, D, she's trying to destroy your family."

"She's standing by her dad."

"She's betraying Lilly! You know she's off on the next one already."

"What?"

"Saw sweet little Veronica in the drug store browsing for pregnancy tests. Guess they don't teach sex ed in the trailer park—"

"Logan. Leave it!" Duncan's countenance suddenly becomes harsh and demanding.

"Okay, woah man." Logan holds his hands up in surrender. "Whatever. I'm just looking out for you, you don't wanna go there."

"Veronica's not a slut."

"Maybe not when she was with you." Logan grins wickedly. "But y'know what they say—once you pop, you can't stop."

Duncan grabs his bag, storming away from the table.

"Duncan! –the Hell, what is _up_ with you dude?"

"Just leave Veronica alone."

"Okay, dude. Chill."

* * *

"Hey dad," Veronica looks up from her perch at the counter. "You don't call, you don't write, we've been missing you. Backup feels abandoned."

"Funny, sweetheart. I got a lead on the Nevada case, needed to make a few inquiries before I flew out."

She cocks one eyebrow. "And you flew back?"

"I leave tomorrow morning, tonight I eat with my daughter."

"Well, sorry to disappoint, pop, but it looks like Luigi's short-changed us on the pasta again."

"You ate three cartons by yourself?"

"There's some lasagna in the fridge and macaroni on the counter, thank-you-very-much."

"As long as I don't starve."

"You've got some padding there to keep you going. I think you're good."

Keith retrieves the left-over pasta, bringing it back over to Veronica who produces two forks in order to dig in.

"So, did you get your steering wheel back?"

She nods. "Good as new."

"And you're not going to tell me where it went?"

"Not tonight."

"I don't want you suffering through anything at school, Veronica. If you have any problems, you tell me and I'll go down there myself."

_I think sometimes my dad forgets he's not Sheriff anymore. Sure, he could go down and make a scene in Clemmons' office but what would that do, really? It's not like the administration are the ones taking my car apart for kicks._

* * *

Logan stops by Veronica's table before school, smiling. "Well, Veronica, how's tricks? Meet any nice, young men on the backstreets last night?"

"No, I guess your mom got there first."

"How's _your_ mother, Ronnie? Still blowing for coke in a whole other state? Yeah? Thought so."

"Did you want something?"

"Just passing through, thought I'd say 'hi'."

"So Hell really has frozen over, good to know."

"Sure we could thaw it out with something from your mom's purse. Vodka doesn't freeze, right Dick?"

Dick shrugs dismissively. "Hell if I know, man."

_The problem with Logan's recent choice of taunts is that really they could all be true. The last time I saw my mother, dad had carried her home that night. He did that a lot._

_For all I know she really is a two-dollar hooker in the next state. That's why I've got to find her._

Veronica glares at the pair for a second before collecting her books and marching deliberately toward the school's entrance.

"Oh hey, don't be that way, Veronica." Logan calls after her. "We were only trying to make conversation. Where you going?"

Dick turns to Logan once she's gone. "Dude, that was so awesome. Did you see how pissed she was?"

"Yeah, man. Fucking psycho," he mutters.

* * *

Dick comes up behind Logan, accompanied by a small troop. "Man, did you glue Veronica Mars' locker shut?"

Logan smirks in response.

"This is fucking awesome dude. She's going _postal_," Dick confides.

Veronica storms past them as the bell rings.

Logan calls out as she pushes through, "Forgot your books, Veronica? This is what you get when you try and study at work—don't worry though, if you're as good as people say you won't have any problems getting into the back of that guy's car again!"

She spins on her heel, snapping, "They, Logan? You been talking to other punters in line again? You _know_ we don't like that."

"Hope he paid you enough to get that locker fixed."

"Did you do this?" she demands.

"Guess we'll never know. Shame someone duct-taped over the security camera."

* * *

"Are you lost?" Logan gives Veronica a look of disgust as she sits herself opposite him at one of the lunch tables.

"Just thought I'd come over, say 'hi'."

"Gosh, it does feel kinda cold down south."

"It never gets old. But I think they have pills that can fix your little problem."

"Hey—"

"The party, what do you know?"

"Déjà vu or what? Nice segue PI Polly but I wasn't there. Go find some other sucker to torment; I'd hate to say you're getting predictable."

"I know you're lying, Logan. At least three people saw you there."

"Drunk people? Real reliable witnesses. If we're done here?..."

_If Logan's not talking then it probably means he's hiding something. There's not much I hold dear about our misguided former friendship but one good thing came out of it—I know Logan. And he's lying. I'm going to find out why._

_

* * *

_

Veronica shrugs. "Caitlyn doesn't look like much of a conversationalist."

"_That_ I'll give you." Logan grins almost coyly, mocking her. "She was more of a show and don't tell type with her feelings."

"That so? From what I've heard, everyone's had a look."

"How hypocritical of you. You have met the pot, right Veronica?"

"Sure but it wasn't black."

"Whatever you say. Hey, heard from that boyfriend of yours yet or is he still busy trafficking drugs down the coast?"

_So, I don't have great taste in men. It's not like we didn't already know this. Hell, I used to hang out with Logan—if that's not a valid and detrimental statement on my taste then I don't know what is._

* * *

"Wallace?" Veronica leans on the counter.

He looks up from filing. "Yeah?"

"Do me a favor?"

"Why did my blood just run cold?"

"It's nothing, really. I just need a peek at Logan Echolls' attendance records."

"Why do you hate this guy so much?"

"If you knew him it'd be obvious."

Wallace hesitates. "Okay, but if I get caught I _will_ sing like a canary."

"Awesome, just as long as you don't tell them I did it."

"You're one strange girl, you know that?"

"It's been mentioned a few times. Come on, Wallace—five minutes with those babies and I'm done. Promise."

"He must have really got on your bad side."

"You have no idea."

* * *

"You. What do you know about the party?" Veronica demands without greeting.

Logan looks down at her. "God, Veronica. I'm sorry we didn't invite you but this little show is pathetic."

"I saw you there, Logan. So if you could just stop being an ass for like two seconds and give me some answers."

"Oh yeah, your little crash course in crashing. How'd that work out for you, Veronica?"

_Does he know? Was Logan the one who raped me? It would be so much easier to dismiss these things if we had been friends. If Duncan had still been my boyfriend and Lilly wasn't dead. But they were._

"Dull."

"Guess we were at different parties then, cause what I hear there was some _interesting_ shit going down at Shelly's."

_Including me? Logan inducing nausea is nothing new but suddenly the need to re-digest my breakfast is overwhelming._

"What happened at Shelly's?"

"You were there weren't you?" Off her glare he continues, "Why would I tell you anything, you turned your back on Lilly and the rest of us like _that_."

"I'm betraying Lilly? What about you, Logan? I thought you _loved_ her, I _saw_ you at that party, did you even know that girl's name?"

"I didn't think to ask. Not everything is milkshakes and getting pinned. Unless getting _pinned_ is your thing."

Veronica sucks in a tight breath.

"Nothing to say to that, huh?"

_I made a choice when my dad accused Jake Kane—stand by my friends or stand by my family. In retrospect it was a little too easy for those so-called friends to turn on me._

* * *

Veronica pushes down the aisles, water bottle in hand. She stops when someone refuses to move out of her way. "Excuse me."

Logan glowers at her. "You're excused. Vamoose."

"I need past."

"And I _need_ you to stop talking."

"Move! What's so important anyway? Ribbed or Regular?"

"Could you just shut up?"

She looks to the shelf. "Painkillers? Don't you have a repressed minority group hired to get that?"

"Well, we ran out. Not everything is a conspiracy, Nancy!"

"What happened, forget the safety word?"

"Yeah, it's just so _tricky_."

"So those two-syllable words are still eluding you."

"Actually, 'Veronica' has four."

She stops, shocked. "What the hell, Logan?"

"What can I say? As a turn-off, it works wonders."

Veronica storms toward the counter. She stops after a moment, turning back to Logan. "You know, I would have thought you'd be too busy exploiting the homeless."

"Pissed you didn't get to roll around in the dirt too? Don't worry, you wanna jump in a bikini, I'll round up the guys—would I get commission for that?"

"Your parents must be _so_ proud."

"Yeah, bet your dad _loves_ your extra-curriculars. Does he get a cut if he extends your curfew?"

"Is that the best you can do? Call me a whore in new and uncreative ways? You're slipping, Logan."

Logan shrugs, turning away from her. "If the skanky boot fits…"

She takes a deep breath, pausing. "I hate you."

"Don't think it's not mutual."

She spins on her heel and doesn't look back.


End file.
